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Save The Dalits

Save The Dalits

I have come to an understanding to how truly blind I am. My eyes have not been opened. I take for granted the life I have every day. I always thought I was aware and open minded. I was wrong. I am only starting to see other parts of the world. Save The Dalits!
I cannot believe what goes on. I knew things were different and not hardly like life here, but this just hurts me so deep. Right now I don’t know how I can stand aside and hear about these things. I understand different cultures, but what if I could save just one person.


Love is the most sought after thing in the world. I have a friend who says there is lust at first sight, but not love. I kind of agree some with her view. There is always that attraction we have for some people. I see it, but find the mindset to look past it into who they are. Someone can be pretty, cute, hot and handsome on the outside for only so long. Then the mask drops and we see who they really are inside. I have felt like I was in love before, but I also feel now that it wasn’t truly love. Someone I loved for years and years just kept playing me and dragging me along. I fell out of love, but his mark on my heart will last lifetimes. I have so much to give to someone one day. I always wonder who that person will be?

Eggs, Car Wrecks, & Weddings

Well yesterday was quite interesting for a Wednesday. My teacher said we were not going to have speech, but we ended up having it. We basically had to wrap some eggs up and make sure they wouldn’t break after we threw them like a football down a sidewalk. My egg and one other group lasted till the second round. The other group had their egg in a box and it didn’t break at all. I grabbed my egg after the first round to check it, so it was not wrapped well enough to last in the second round. I had wrapped it in a soft tortilla, wax paper, two Styrofoam cups. One cup had the egg in it and the other had paper while they were taped together at the rim. It was fun and it was weird thinking about the tortilla. The school’s tortillas are a little thicker and more pliable when warmed up a bit.
After all this I’m just chilling in the library trying to finish my math labs which are harder than before. I finally get a message from Hannah saying that she is coming to pick me up now so she can take me to the wedding. I’m like whatever and what are you talking about. I could only think of one person who might want to take my hand in marriage and that would have been a no. LOL, I’m not up to getting married to an ex-boyfriend. So I go out to wait on her and she shows up. Then I say “You know I’m a legal alien, so there is no reason for us to get married so I can stay in the country.” Laughter ensures and it's like I won the Oscar for best comedy. LOL, it wasn’t that great, but still funny. We are driving by a CVS (And no, I’m so not name dropping right now) when we start to move into a lane to our left. Well the car beside us starts to move into our lane. The guy basically said he didn’t see us, but that is impossible. He wasn’t paying attention at his surroundings at all. (This is why I hate driving!) I wasn’t the one driving though. It was Hannah, and she did her best to get out of the way. I think there would have been more damage to her car if she had not acted so quickly. So they guy starts to pull into our land and I yell “Watch Out.” LOL, I’m sure why, but maybe just instinct. Well Hannah was trying to pull into the other lane safely and get out of his way. He takes off the rearview mirror on the car and instead of pulling away from us he just keeps heading into our lane. Hannah was able to pull away from him and turn into CVS. The dude didn’t even try to pull back and I’m pretty sure he could have. After he hit the mirror then things got a little weird. I started shaking, but I remember perfectly his van hitting us. Well we all get out of the cars in CVS. I called my mom to find out what we need to do besides get the insurance information. She thought I was making it up I think at first so I wouldn’t have to come to the wedding. I think it was more of a defense mechanism than to think I might be hurt. Well I was upset with her for not believing me and hung up the phone when she asked if I was hurt. So Hannah called Camille and I had an idea. I went into CVS and got a camera to take pictures. I remember seeing people taking pictures on some car insurance commercial. We finally get going on the way home. I have to hang on to the side mirror so it doesn’t fly around while we drive home. It was held on only by metal cables. We make it to my grandparents just 15 minutes after the wedding. Well I guess I should say who got married. My sister Joanna and her husband Matt. They were not going to get married this quick, but found out the marriage license expires after 30 days. So basically a legal ceremony and he is really nice. Now I’ve got another nephew named Reece. Reese, Reece, and Jak. 3 nephews, man I think our family was just meant to be boys. It’s mostly boys in the family especially on my father’s side. They came up to the house to have dinner with us. I’m shy around new people; even though, matt is really nice. I’m just still shy a little. I think he said that I did not become more social then we make me have sex with a woman. Of course a joke, but I think it just shows that he is ok with me being gay. He was also in the navy, plays xbox360 and reads some of the same kind of books that I do. So I’m starting to get to know him better. Well I should get to sleep. I hope everyone had a good day and be careful driving.

A Choice Has Been Made................

Vegetarian/Vegan?!?!?!?!?!?! Where do I stand? Which side will I pick? Will it be the Chicken Mustard Tacos from Taco Bell, Espresso Brownies from Starbucks, or Tofu Smoothies? Espresso Brownies win out.
The real choice is Vegetarian. I don’t want to see any animals suffer and so I’m working on cutting meat from my diet. It will be a journey that starts here in East Texas. I won’t be cutting meat totally out of my diet yet. I am going to work hard at it and dream of the big city that can help this lonely Vegetarian. We all make choices in our life to make it better. I’m making another choice and striving forward. Now just to find an eco-village to live in and I’ll be doing great. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

Safe Haven

Hiding out seems like such a good idea. I think I’ve learned a few things from Emily. I don’t like big crowds that much. I just love to blend in against the wall. I love the big city and can’t wait. I can just be another face in the crowd. I don’t mind being recognized for things that are good. Helping people, discovering a cure for poison ivy and other things. I don’t have to have my face shown everywhere just because I help someone or do something. I am happy to do it and not be noticed. I would just like to make the world a better place. Also I think I’m quite shy around people if I don’t know them. Anyways I need to start working on school work. Hope everyone had a good weekend and I’m wondering if everyone has started their gardens yet? Think of how much money you would save and it will be worth it.

Vegan: Is it possible? Is it worth it?

I have been a vegetarian off and on for the last two years. I really wanted to go Vegan and cut all animal products out totally. I now see that is nearly impossible. They are in everything on the market. I tried so hard to be a Vegan. I have gone whole days without eating due to the only other choice was meat. I became sick and had horrible headaches from starving myself. I found this place on the web where it had a list of stuff called “I Can’t Believe It’s Vegan.” Fruity Pebbles was on the list and I found 6 things on the ingredient list that could be derived from animal products. The only way to know is to go work for Post in one of their factories. I could call them, but will they tell me the truth or lie to sell their product. Who is truly a Vegan? Is there a Vegan in this world? I’m not giving up, but I refuse to order vegan stuff online that could cost $20 and that’s almost what I make in a day (I’m a waiter in small town trying to go through school)! I much rather eat meat and get an education then starve myself and spend $5 on some soy milk. I’m starting to think being a Vegan is just crazy. I’ve seen the PETA videos of slaughter houses and I’m lactose intolerant; therefore, I will work on being a Vegan in my own way. I’m not going to not eat meat if I’m starving and I will not spend $20 on some vegan product on the web. I’m working on cutting meat out totally. Milk and Eggs from the carton are pretty much out now. I’m not going to leave the store with a $10 bag of pinto beans and $5 carton of soy milk to be my breakfast, lunch, and supper. I will call myself a vegetarian and whenever possible cut an animal product out of my life. I’m too focused on school, moving out of this small town, and hoping to save the world to be concerned with Veganism right now.

*Starts looking over his shoulder for PETA to attack*

I’ve been thinking about this more and more. I am really poor and trying to work and go to school. I’m basically going to go with the cheapest things to buy for food and worry about Vegetarism/Veganism later. I am not at a point where I can do a whole lot.

Gay Marriage, Botany, TJC, Money, Art

I realize that if I doesn’t take a stand then who will? Just because you take a stand doesn’t mean you’re throwing it in people’s face. It is truly right for everyone to be equal. Only people who are loving and compassionate through their soul can understand this.

I can not stand by any longer and fade into the wall. The time is now. I will be brave and be a warrior. Support Gay Marriage.


Well I've narrowed it down to two majors. Its either going to be Horticulture or Botany. I'm leaning towards Botany. To save the world is my main goal. Through Botany comes the Way. Through the Way comes peace.

I also feel really alone at TJC. I feel like the only gay person. I have a  few gay friends, but not many I get to talk to alot. So I feel really alone at times.

Work is going ok. I just wish I could make $30 a night instead of $7 and $8. I have to get a second job or something this summer.

Off to Art Appr. now, I think today I'll either sleep or read my book. We end up taking notes for 5 mins of class time and the teacher tells stories the rest of the time.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Nerdy Boys and Stephen Fowler

Nerdy Boys……Nerdy Boys….. What is the attraction there? I don’t find them nerdy, but they seem to fill that label. I guess the glasses and just the nerdy look is the physical attraction. The intelligence, able to talk about politics and different issues of the world is a turn on. I’m not the smartest crayon in the box, but it probably feels that way because my friends have had more college education than I have. I’m not sure, but those nerdy guys seem to be more romantic, caring, and think about other things than themselves. Well I’m on my way home from school or at least to Hannah’s house. Which is basically a second home to me? We passed under a red light while I was typing and my first thought was UFO. LOL, I know. I’m weird. Man I really dislike East Texas and Texas itself. Austin isn’t so bad, but I would live there if I stay in Texas. I just really need to get a car and finish up things at TJC. I just don’t feel the support at home like it should be. I know they love me, but it’s like the atmosphere is strained. I would prefer them to discuss careers in Horticulture with me; than just telling me I can’t make a living with a degree in horticulture. I want to still help people, but to do it different than I wanted too before. My father’s death made me stronger but at a price. I’ll help through horticulture and gardening now. I would really like to work on growing crops in harsh climates. Maybe then crops can be grown in the deserts of Africa. Well I should study for my math test.